A letter to President General Admiral Putin

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Daniel Brnjic

BY DANIEL BRNJIC (‘17)

Dear President General Admiral Putin,

As a proud American, I have the obligation to tell you that you are a corrupt and ruthless individual who neglects his people. I was watching MSNBC on November 9, and I learned that you found a way to make 50 million Americans vote for President Trump. I am absolutely astonished by this achievement. In past elections, maybe the occasional dead man voted for President Obama from his casket or maybe the black panthers would hang out with a baseball bat in front of the local voting location, but, WOW, you made half of all voters vote for Trump. This accomplishment is unrivaled in the world of corrupt elections.

We all know of your fetish for riding horses shirtless and breaking cement bricks with your head; the KGB must have taught you well. You single handedly stole the election from Hillary, because, I mean, she was set to win the election. Americans are too stupid to understand her email scandal, Benghazi, the chaos she created in Libya and her lovely husband Bill who is a strong supporter of feminism. Americans truly wanted Secretary Clinton to lead this nation with her higher taxes and her traditional establishment values.

My question for you, Mr. Putin, is how did you pull it off. We know that you did more than leak some hacked emails from the Democrats. We dumb Americans do not understand the significance of the information presented by the leaked emails. You had to have done more! Did you pay off FBI director Comey ? Or did you have sleeper agents in every voting district threatening voters in mid America?

Mr. Putin please put your shirt on and get off your high horse. You did nothing of the sort. You are being credited for electing President Trump when at the most all you did was leak some emails that made the Democrats look bad. Democrats are too stunned to realize that their candidate sucked and they put the blame on you. Like a basketball player who blames the wind for a missed shot in an indoor gym, lazy millennials protest in the street blaming you for the election rather than going out and finding a job. No worries, mate; we know your ego knows no bounds, but just know that us dumb Americans know that your role in our election was as effective as Obamacare.

Regards and Thanks,

DANIEL BRNJIC

P.S.  We know you wanted to “ Make America Great Again”