Time to be a man: Valentine’s Day

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Chris Volzke

BY CHRIS VOLZKE (’17)

TIME TO BE A MAN
TIME TO BE A MAN

Alright, gentlemen, our least favorite holiday is coming up. It’s the one where women always say they don’t want anything, but secretly they want you to spend your last three paychecks on them. Well, there is a way to make Valentine’s Day great for both you and that special someone, gentlemen, and it is a lot easier to pull off then you might think.

The first step to just suck it up and make reservations at that nice restaurant. Yes, I know that it is $60 a plate, but trust me, it’ll be worth it in the end. The money you spend on the restaurant in the end won’t matter because in the end you’re going to save a ton on the gift. A few recommendations for dinner are two very high class restaurants, Barcelona and DeepWood, both of which will make that special someone happy.

Step two is finding the perfect gift. Now gentlemen, there are ways to make it look like you spent a lot more money than you did. First step is to pick up some flowers, and in this case I mean flowers singular. All you need to get is one good looking red rose. The next step is the card, which the more homemade the better. All you must do is to take a blank card, draw a heart on it, then glue on a piece of nature. Some kind of sea shell or a piece of bark from a tree with your initials carved in it will do. The card will cost you about 50 cents and is your one-way ticket to paradise.

The last part of the gift is the jewelry portion of the gift. It is not necessary to spend $500 on a necklace or earrings, but there is a way to make it look like you did. Spend about $50 on some piece of jewelry, then go get a jewelry box from some expensive piece of jewelry from your Mom’s stash. Put the gift you got your special someone in the new box and there you go: looks like you spent a lot more money than you did.

The last thing you need is attire for the evening. This shouldn’t be too difficult; I would recommend a nice suit and tie. Steal your Dad’s best tie and wear the suit you wore for Homecoming. If you don’t own a suit, head on over to Marshall’s or Macy’s and get a decent looking Calvin Klein suit for $100. It’s not too much money and will really show your lady friend that you tried.

Gentlemen, Valentine’s Day is not that hard to pull off. Follow these simple steps and you will only spend at most $200, which is very reasonable for that special someone you are trying to impress. Remember, to think manly and not harder. Make life easy on yourself this romantic holiday season.