Graduating from a serf’s point of view


I’m not an upperclassman. I’ve never gone to prom, suffered through AP Gov, or been bestowed with the honor of sitting in the senior lounge (Not that I’d want to anyways. That place is a freaking STD farm). I’m not high up in the social hierarchy of GHS, so my knowledge of the graduating class’s names is limited to: Boy-who-tripped-my-in-the-hallway-once, and Girl-whose-boobs-are-bigger-than-my-head. Obviously, I am oblivious to the goings-ons of the seniors, so my only contribution to the conversations I have with upperclassmen is: Huh?

So why, do you ask, is this sophomore peasant writing about graduation? How could she have anything to contribute to the departure of our beloved seniors? While yes, I may be under-qualified for this monumental task, I do have an opinion. And a wise man once told me that however inconvenient and annoying it may be; everyone’s opinion matters.

The few senior conversations that I have been privy to listen to are quite simple. So simple, in fact, that they basically consist of one line repeated over and over again: “I can’t wait to get out of here.”  Throw in the occasional “Man,” “Dude” and other 2000s surfer movie slang, and you’ve got the picture. Overall conclusion: Granville High School is a prison cell/ miniature version of Satan’s summer home for EVERY SINGLE SENIOR HERE. But the real question is: is it really that bad?

My opinion is that while you may hate it now, high school has done more for you than you think? Where else could you have learned how to discreetly text it class, without looking like you are studying your crotch? Where else could you have learned how to discreetly pull down your shorts so you don’t get busted for the fifth time this week? Where else could you have met your current significant other that you will obviously be with for the rest of your life? Oh, and by the way, getting that matching tattoo with your high schools sweetheart was a good idea. Congratulations.

While yes, you may have made a few mistakes along the way; that is the whole point of high school. You’ve learned. Not only do you now know that the matrix is not just a movie, but also a math term (which will be oh-so-useful in everyday life); but you’ve learned life lessons too. You’ve learned how to be a good friend (kind of), how to communicate with other adults (wait, are we supposed to use crayons to do our homework or not?) and how to be responsible.

So while I may have a lot of learning left to do, the State of Ohio has deemed about 200 of it’s inhabitants ready to move on with life. So, oh powerful seniors, here is one more nugget of knowledge from your very own sophomore nobody; enjoy life while you can. Because however torturous it may seem now, you’ll miss it later. Good luck.