What I don’t want for Christmas: Bands that should not have recorded Christmas songs

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Blink – 182’s “I Wont Be Home For Christmas” under festive Christmas lights (BluePrints Photo/Kennedy Ogden)

Kennedy Ogden

Some people start listening to Christmas tunes in November whereas others listen only on Christmas Eve. Not to mention the small group that will never admit to jamming out in their car to Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas.”

Musicians from Ariana Grande to Lynyrd Skynyrd have tried to have their take on a very merry Christmas single. Although they have tried, it does not mean they have made the most holly jolly Christmas track of the year. These are some bands that really should have stayed away from Christmas. 

The Ramones: “Merry Christmas (I Don’t Wanna Fight Tonight)”

Aside from the overarching accomplishment of inventing punk rock The Ramones song “Merry Christmas (I Don’t Wanna Fight Tonight)” is not the best they could have done. No matter how bah humbug the song is as a Christmas song, is a rare occasion that an artist writes an original Christmas song. After the excruciating novelty of The Ramones producing a Christmas song passes off then the agony of their yuletide spirit starts to sting. 

Guns and Roses: “White Christmas”

The classic hard rock band produced their rendition of “White Christmas.” This definitely is not the best version of “White Christmas” it is probably the worst. Christmas takes on a whole new meaning when sung by Axl Rose. The band did a great job of incorporating their style into a classic song, but this is very short of a Christmas song. There is no holiday spirit found in this song. After all, how is the guy who wails “Sweet Child O’ Mine” going to sing any kind of song that makes you want to break out the hot cocoa and peppermint sticks? GNR is nothing close to Christmas. 

Blink-182: “I Won’t Be Home for Christmas”

With a history of producing angsty music that doesn’t make for a great mood setter Blink – 182 produced  “I Won’t Be Home for Christmas.” Although the band sticks to their original punk sound, they stray very far from the holiday spirit. Honestly, when you listen to it you just want to stick icicles in your ears and even participate in watching a Hallmark Christmas movie, and that is saying something. 

Bad Religion: “Christmas Songs”

This early 80’s punk rock band created a whole album dedicated to Christmas. The album “Christmas Songs” incorporates old and new Christmas songs written by Bad Religion.  The album is full of headbanging Christmas classics. This album will definitely want to make you just move on to Valentine’s Day to rid yourself of the torture. 

The Killers: “Don’t Waste Your Wishes”

The Killers “Don’t Waste Your Wishes” Christmas album continues the classic pop epic sound but more veered toward the holiday spirit. The name of the band describes what most listeners may want to do to the song while listening to it. One Christmas wish you might want to waste is on wishing this album away when it’s playing.

If you’re looking for the classic yuletide tunes that bring the smell of spiced cranberry with them then I would recommend looking past these artists renditions. With the musical genius of all these bands unique sounds still within these classic or original Christmas songs, they undeniably not for the classic Christmastime experience. You might get more joy and holiday spirit listening to “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas” by Gayla Peevey.